Tomorrow is my weigh-in and even though I have added in exercise I am a little worried. I seem to be bloating and I'm kind of t'd off that maybe my weight loss won't be maximized because of that.
If I don't lose this week I hope that I will be able to stay positive and that it will only further motivate me.
Yesterday I had a light beer and 1.5 slices of Pizza Hut all natural pizza. Could that have done it?
GRRRRRRRRR!! I only ate 1 of my reserve points earlier in the week.
Maybe I am just being paranoid. Everything will be ok and I am doing the best I can.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Friday, January 30, 2009
Getting a Move On
Literally...
A few days ago I posted a workout plan that I was supposed to follow the very next day. Well, it didn't happen that day...or the day after. The first day I spent doing my taxes and other odds and ends while thinking about exercising, and the second day I spent feeling guilty yet lazy.
Today was the day. I actually woke up before my alarm feeling FULL of energy! I ended up doing 2 sets of 50 sit ups, 20 minutes on the gazelle, and a 20 minute Pilates DVD. Then I did walking squats with resistance tubing on my ankles while holding hand weights. Then I cranked up a high voltage song on my iPod and went to town on bicycle crunches for about 2 minutes.
I felt so good at work and throughout the day. Except for feeling more hungry at lunchtime, my energy levels were constant.
Tonight after dinner I attempted to do my Biggest Loser Yoga DVD, but it was a little too intense for nighttime and the woodstove was wayyyy too hot. It seems like it will be a really good workout, I could get up early and do it, but I don't know if I will. It's already almost midnight.
One thing I Do know is that last time my goal for exercise was too high, at least for now. My goal for tomorrow is to do something. Something meaning at least 20 minutes of activity even if it is split in half.
Other random notes:
Someone said I looked smaller :)
My mother said I've lost weight in my face
-she also said I am getting my waist back...didn't realize I'd completely lost it :)/:(
A few days ago I posted a workout plan that I was supposed to follow the very next day. Well, it didn't happen that day...or the day after. The first day I spent doing my taxes and other odds and ends while thinking about exercising, and the second day I spent feeling guilty yet lazy.
Today was the day. I actually woke up before my alarm feeling FULL of energy! I ended up doing 2 sets of 50 sit ups, 20 minutes on the gazelle, and a 20 minute Pilates DVD. Then I did walking squats with resistance tubing on my ankles while holding hand weights. Then I cranked up a high voltage song on my iPod and went to town on bicycle crunches for about 2 minutes.
I felt so good at work and throughout the day. Except for feeling more hungry at lunchtime, my energy levels were constant.
Tonight after dinner I attempted to do my Biggest Loser Yoga DVD, but it was a little too intense for nighttime and the woodstove was wayyyy too hot. It seems like it will be a really good workout, I could get up early and do it, but I don't know if I will. It's already almost midnight.
One thing I Do know is that last time my goal for exercise was too high, at least for now. My goal for tomorrow is to do something. Something meaning at least 20 minutes of activity even if it is split in half.
Other random notes:
Someone said I looked smaller :)
My mother said I've lost weight in my face
-she also said I am getting my waist back...didn't realize I'd completely lost it :)/:(
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
NEWS BULLETIN #2
Goodbye 190's, hello 180's!
I weighed myself both last night and this morning and it's true... gosh I haven't been in the 180's in a long time (since I had just started living with JoJo in SB).
For those of you that aren't familiar with Weight Watchers that means that I now get to eat one less POINT per day because the formula for the amount of points you eat per day includes the first two numbers of your weight.
I am fine with this. I was not sure whether to wait til the Monday meeting to go down a point, but I decided that changing my points right now is probably the best choice. Some days I find myself still trying to get points in at the end of the evening and most of the time that last 1 POINT isn't exactly a healthy last POINT. For instance, last night it was a Weight Watcher's brand cookie.
Upcoming goals to meet:
Incorporating Exercise
Increment of 5 (189.2) -will determine whether I met this goal at weigh-in on Monday
10% of my body weight/an increment of 5 (184.2)
The 170's
Due Dates:
Meet 10% by Monday 2/16/09
I weighed myself both last night and this morning and it's true... gosh I haven't been in the 180's in a long time (since I had just started living with JoJo in SB).
For those of you that aren't familiar with Weight Watchers that means that I now get to eat one less POINT per day because the formula for the amount of points you eat per day includes the first two numbers of your weight.
I am fine with this. I was not sure whether to wait til the Monday meeting to go down a point, but I decided that changing my points right now is probably the best choice. Some days I find myself still trying to get points in at the end of the evening and most of the time that last 1 POINT isn't exactly a healthy last POINT. For instance, last night it was a Weight Watcher's brand cookie.
Upcoming goals to meet:
Incorporating Exercise
Increment of 5 (189.2) -will determine whether I met this goal at weigh-in on Monday
10% of my body weight/an increment of 5 (184.2)
The 170's
Due Dates:
Meet 10% by Monday 2/16/09
New Old Pants
This morning on a whim I decided to try on some of my old pants and jeans that were tucked back in the very back of my closet. I knew that it would either motivate me or depress me, but I took that chance.I've been complaining for several days that I haven't gone down a pant size, but I finally did! I was a 15/16, but I was able to fit into my 13/14's and even a couple pairs of my size 12 jeans!!!!
A size 10 is still 2-3 inches away, but I'll get there. I am soooo sticking to my exercise plan today so I can keep whittling away.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Workout Plan
There is no way I can make a goal as huge as "I will work out 5 times this week". So, I am going to start with:1.) Tomorrow I am going to put one of my DVD's in the DVD player and I will actually work out with it instead of watching.
2.) If I get bored or don't break a sweat, I will go on the elliptical for 30 mins or more.
3.) I will do ab work of some sort. It might be a set of 10 crunches, but whatever.
I need to do this day by day... in baby steps. :)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Monday Night Weigh-In
Almost back to the 180's!!! It's been about a year and a half, or maybe more, since I have been in the 180's. I think I was about 180 when I met my ex-fiance.Tonight I weighed in at 190.8. I didn't reach any goals, such as weight loss in an increment of five or a percentage marker, but I am still happy. I lost 3.4 pounds when I was almost convinced that I wasn't going to lose much.
Goal for this week: add in exercise!!! I have been really , really naughty and haven't exercised yet. I have three new DVD's and exercise equipment, so I really have no excuse for myself.
Even work isn't really keeping me from working out. With some of my excess weight gone, I am not in a whole lot of pain by the time I finish a 9-hour shift on concrete floors. I do ache, but maybe I could try getting up early??? Not something I like to do, but maybe I can learn to like it :)
Thursday, January 22, 2009
Midnight Meanderings
I was lying in bed just now and I started to think more about this habit that I have of putting food in my mouth when it doesn't need to be there. At my last WW meeting we talked a bit about the different kind of hungers. It's pretty clear to me that I have a problem with emotional hunger. I am always trying to feed it. I am very in tune with my body's biological signs of hunger, so it must be the other kind that I am dealing with.
About 14 years ago I was a 5th grade girl who had put herself on a diet. I had always been a big fan of Lifetime movies and I learned some tips and tricks from the eating disorder specials. I found the disordered patterns that the movies illustrated to be appealing and in a very strange way, I admired the girls with the ED's. Needless to say, by the time I started 6th grade I had lost 20 percent of my body weight. That is when I started being watched. They said I was "at risk", but they had no idea what went on behind the bathroom door. My family had no concept of what I ate, as we rarely ate as a family. We were always in front of the TV. I could walk into the kitchen and throw away most of my food during the Final Jeopardy without anyone even noticing. It's easy to tuck excess food under a used paper towel and an aluminum can...whatever's available.
At that age, I got to a weight where I felt comfortable. The "cool kids" were starting to talk to me. I even had my first boyfriend and first kiss that year. But of course as soon as I got comfy and would eat "normally" the weight would pile back on. By 8th grade my weight soared to just over 150. I couldn't handle seeing that number. I actually teared up at the doctor's office and I resolved to get rid of that weight.
That summer I became a hardcore anorexic- no more of that bulimic gluttony- I was ready to practice some real self control...or so that may have been my thought pattern at the time. I hardly ever ate and I often ran as much as 8 miles a day/5 times a week. By the time I entered the 9th grade I weighed 83 pounds. I was very popular for a short amount of time, until my fall from grace when everyone found out the truth of my transformation. After a physical and some blood work, I had a tough reality to face and a decision to make... eat and stop running or die. Get a tube shoved down your throat or die. Luckily for me, there was also a choice C. Get help.
Hearing my mother crying at night through the thin wall that separated our bedrooms had a huge influence, but it was also my late grandmother's dying wish of me. You can't just ignore those kind of pleas. I was being selfish in a way and was at the same time punishing myself; 2 behaviors that are unnecessary. I got all the help I could get. Dietitian. Psychologist. Psychiatrist. Support groups. You name it.
In many ways I got better. By the time I was 15, most of my disordered habits had disappeared. Except for the one I still struggle with today; emotional eating.
All of the mental health services I received never fully dealt with my past. Tonight I was thinking about it and I had an epiphany of sorts. I need to learn to love myself because food will not heal the hurts that have been inflicted upon me. 2008 was an especially hard year, but I will not let it break me. Just because people have not treated me with kindness and respect and have not shown me love, does not mean that I am not worthy. I deserve that from myself because, in the end, the only people I can count on to receive those things are myself and the Big Guy in the Sky.
This process and this blog is so much bigger than just trying to lose weight. I am in the process of learning how to love my body and myself, and it's just a coincidence that it includes the things that I put into it.
Eating 3 helpings at mealtime doesn't = not loving myself
Eating 3 helpings at mealtime = I am not paying attention to myself and what I really need to feel good and be healthy
I should probably get some sleep! Good night.
About 14 years ago I was a 5th grade girl who had put herself on a diet. I had always been a big fan of Lifetime movies and I learned some tips and tricks from the eating disorder specials. I found the disordered patterns that the movies illustrated to be appealing and in a very strange way, I admired the girls with the ED's. Needless to say, by the time I started 6th grade I had lost 20 percent of my body weight. That is when I started being watched. They said I was "at risk", but they had no idea what went on behind the bathroom door. My family had no concept of what I ate, as we rarely ate as a family. We were always in front of the TV. I could walk into the kitchen and throw away most of my food during the Final Jeopardy without anyone even noticing. It's easy to tuck excess food under a used paper towel and an aluminum can...whatever's available.
At that age, I got to a weight where I felt comfortable. The "cool kids" were starting to talk to me. I even had my first boyfriend and first kiss that year. But of course as soon as I got comfy and would eat "normally" the weight would pile back on. By 8th grade my weight soared to just over 150. I couldn't handle seeing that number. I actually teared up at the doctor's office and I resolved to get rid of that weight.
That summer I became a hardcore anorexic- no more of that bulimic gluttony- I was ready to practice some real self control...or so that may have been my thought pattern at the time. I hardly ever ate and I often ran as much as 8 miles a day/5 times a week. By the time I entered the 9th grade I weighed 83 pounds. I was very popular for a short amount of time, until my fall from grace when everyone found out the truth of my transformation. After a physical and some blood work, I had a tough reality to face and a decision to make... eat and stop running or die. Get a tube shoved down your throat or die. Luckily for me, there was also a choice C. Get help.
Hearing my mother crying at night through the thin wall that separated our bedrooms had a huge influence, but it was also my late grandmother's dying wish of me. You can't just ignore those kind of pleas. I was being selfish in a way and was at the same time punishing myself; 2 behaviors that are unnecessary. I got all the help I could get. Dietitian. Psychologist. Psychiatrist. Support groups. You name it.
In many ways I got better. By the time I was 15, most of my disordered habits had disappeared. Except for the one I still struggle with today; emotional eating.
All of the mental health services I received never fully dealt with my past. Tonight I was thinking about it and I had an epiphany of sorts. I need to learn to love myself because food will not heal the hurts that have been inflicted upon me. 2008 was an especially hard year, but I will not let it break me. Just because people have not treated me with kindness and respect and have not shown me love, does not mean that I am not worthy. I deserve that from myself because, in the end, the only people I can count on to receive those things are myself and the Big Guy in the Sky.
This process and this blog is so much bigger than just trying to lose weight. I am in the process of learning how to love my body and myself, and it's just a coincidence that it includes the things that I put into it.
Eating 3 helpings at mealtime doesn't = not loving myself
Eating 3 helpings at mealtime = I am not paying attention to myself and what I really need to feel good and be healthy
I should probably get some sleep! Good night.
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