Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
~ James Joyce (Irish novelist)
Yesterday is in the past. Without yesterday's blunder I wouldn't know what I needed to do to change tomorrow. It's apparent that it's very important for me maintain a routine. When I was in routine I was doing very well. Then, for a few days I stopped blogging, I stopped counting calories, and I still wasn't exercising.
Right now I am behind on my goal. Friday is supposed to be my 3rd weigh in and I have only lost 6.5 pounds as opposed to the full 7 I should have lost by last Friday.
This is my plan today. If I don't do this, I really wish someone could kick me in the ass. Right now I am going to get off of this couch. Then I will make myself 2 eggs which I will eat with an orange and a cup of tea. Immediately following, I will get ready for the gym where I will stay for no less than 2 hours.
Monday, December 15, 2008
I don't plan on this happening again. My eating just got out of control and then I got to a point where I knew what I was doing and how it was going to end, but I didn't stop it.
Friday, December 5, 2008
What she says about starvation mode is one of the reasons why I gained 130 pounds in 10 years. My eating disorders messed up my metabolism and made my body think it was only a matter of time before another starvation period would come.
The first week of this new lifestyle has gone well, but I have one major worry. Am I eating enough? The first couple of days I was never hungry, but that hasn't been true of these last few days. My caloric intake seems a little high for a diet at times. Some days I ate closer to 1600 calories. Hopefully cutting out wheat, caffeine, and refined sugars will help will help.
I pretty much know what I should be eating from all those dietitian sessions my mom paid for when I was anorexic/bulimic, but I have not yet come across an article that has been able to explain to me how much I should be eating. I came across one site that asked me for my body fat percentage and then told me I needed to only eat 1,000 calories a day. I wrote that site off immediately because there is no way that a 1,000 cal/day diet would ever work in the long run.
Starting weight: 201.4
Current weight: 198
Initial Goal weight: 160
I really like that this week I could still basically eat whatever I wanted. I didn't eat leftover pie every day or go out to eat and have pasta with cream sauce, but I could still go to restaurants like a normal person. I went to Pizza Hut and Olive Garden!
A few things I want to work on next week:
- Cutting out wheat
- Eating a little more protein
- Cutting back on the caffeine
- I want to eat closer to eating 1400 calories- this week some days were pretty close to 1600. My hope is that cutting back on caffeine will help me not feel so hungry. If I am still hungry, I think I might have to stay at 1600 because I don't want my body to go into starvation mode.
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Saturday, November 29, 2008
I guess it's time to step away from the cheese platter and my grandmother's fruit salad and finally answer those complicated questions everyone likes to ask.
I spent the entire day mulling over strategies in my mind. I compiled a spreadsheet using templates I found online. I decided to journal my daily consumption, exercise, and weight change. I did some research, and according to my calculations, I could drop 40 pounds in 12 weeks! Since I compulsively track my budget and spending, why couldn't I do the same with my weight? I think the difference is that I feel more shame at experiencing a weight loss failure than I do if I don't meet an income:debt goal.
Having been in the throes of disordered eating habits for years, it is hard for family and loved ones to sensitively support me from day to day. This may just be the ticket to getting through the emotional ups and downs on my journey to a new body for life.
I welcome all comments. I hope to be sharing good news with you all soon.
If you are interested in using my file, you can copy and paste it from Here.