Thursday, April 30, 2009

Beautiful Day

This morning I actually jumped out of bed. I woke up feeling excellent! Let's hope the rest of the day goes that well. I have had the last two days off and today I am closing up shop, so I don't need to be in until 3:30 ish. I wanted to write a quick post, but I have a bunch of stuff still left to do such as sun worshipping and yoga.

I have not started my contest subsmission yet. I've been spending the last couple of days re-organizing my life. I knew that things were hectic when I was with my ex and constantly travelling to see him, but my goodness! Finally, after two days things are clean and everything is in line, so that I can actually put new things on my to-do list.

My snacking goal is not going so well this week and my exercise is still average for me (1-2 days per week). Yesterday I indulged on two differen't WW treats for a total of 4 out of my 27 daily points. I am just trying to eat more responsibly and while the WW ice creams and candies are better than most calorie-wise, they are still not the best choice for the body. more of those for the rest of the week.

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

I am worth it

On Monday I completed 16 weeks of being on the Weight Watchers program. I weighed in at 164.4 pounds. I was 0.2 pounds away from hitting the 40 lb mark and only 1 pound away from having lost TWENTY PERCENT of my body weight since starting WW. If we were to calculate using my peak weight from this last fall of 215, I have already lost 23% of my body weight.

The past few days have been a roller coaster for me, having gone through a break-up. Ending a relationship with someone is never easy and never feels good, especially if you have developed an attachment, but life goes on and mine will be great. Tonight I spoke to one of my dearest friends for quite a long time. He is me, only a few years older with a penis and all the accoutrement's. He was able to bring some clarity to my mind and shake me back to my center. So here I am... I am back and grounded as ever.

I deleted a couple of unescessary posts from the last few days that were filled with emotional turmoil. It's not that I am ashamed of it because everybody goes through stuff and responds differently, but my initial responses are always more exaggerated compared to how I feel when my mind has had a day or two to adapt to change. To those of you who may have read those, I am doing ok, and I regret that you saw that side of me because it's not an accurate depiction of me as a whole.

Goals for this next week:

exercise, exercise, exercise! Now that I am not getting any sex, I will have to kick up my activity level quite a bit. LOL. No, but really... No matter what happens in my life I need to keep routine and stay active. Exercise will be a great way to help kick the pain and stress of a break-up while keeping me on track with my health goals.

Hit the 40lb and 20% mark by Monday, May 1st. -No problem.

Start my essay submission for the Weight Watchers Inspiring Stories of the Year Contest!

Eat less snacks and empty calories.

Move on...because I'm worth it.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Monday Night Weigh-in

This week I lost 3.4 pounds. My current weight is 165.4 pounds and my total loss is 38.8 pounds.

New body...New apartment

Warning! I took this video from my BlackBerry after drinking two cups of strong coffee. You may want to take medication for motion sickness before watching this clip.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Exercise Achievements

Last week at meeting one of the topics was the practice of storyboarding to reach an activity goal. My end goal is to exercise 4-5 times per week, but I have only been active an average of one day per week. In order to achieve this goal, I decided one of the steps I needed to take was to break it into smaller goals, starting with stepping up my average to 2x/wk. Other steps I believe to be important are scheduling, tracking, blogging, keeping it fun, and rewarding myself.

So here I am...

This week I have:

Used my Biggest Loser Bootcamp DVD- I finally did the weeks 1-2 workout all the way through

Walked with my boyfriend

Easter Dinner :(

This past Monday I weighed in at 168.8 pounds. I only lost 0.6 pounds, but oh well, it was still 0.6 pounds in the right direction.

At the previous meeting, everyone was panicking about the upcoming Easter festivities and so was I. My mother usually makes a fairly large, fatty meal with a side of sugar-infused deserts. All the same, I was looking forward to the meal. I had a feeling she would try a sweet treat from the WW site or cookbook for me and her husband to have, but unfortunately that was not the case. When I got home from my 9 hour day at work it was already past 8 o'clock and I had to get my food out of the secondary fridge on the other side of the house. To my dismay, the ham was already firmly held in place by the cooled animal fat around it, but that wasn't even the worst part. I spotted a chocolate cream pie. When I went back across the house and into the kitchen I asked my mom if it was made with fat-free, sugar-free pudding. Her response was not the nicest. She informed me that we didn't have any and she didn't feel like going to the store to buy some when in fact...she had already gone to the store to buy corn smothered in butter sauce AND we actually did have said pudding in the cabinets on a clearly marked shelf. 

What I learned from this experience is that I cannot rely on other people, but I had hoped that I could rely on my mother to provide me with some healthy alternatives for a holiday meal. Instead, everything was covered in butter, sugar, molasses, and fat. Oh joy. 

She has said before that she can't eat as healthy as I do because she'd lose weight, so I understand that most of the meals she cooks aren't going to be endorsed by Weight Watchers anytime soon, but I really wanted her support with that particular meal. It just wasn't there, but I did fine. I had 4 ounces of ham with the fat scraped off, threw the buttered corn in the garbage when I realized what it was, picked at the pre-buttered squash, and treated myself to giant latte mousse bar. At the end, I was satisfied with myself, but not the meal because it wasn't anything special. 

Sorry, just felt like venting...

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

High Fructose Corn Syrup

Again... I am trying to uncover why I avoid certain products instead of blindly following others, but so far, I am glad I did so.

Must READ! Hydrogenated Oils- The Silent Killers

This article is a MUST READ! This is an article from David Lawrence Hewey's Food for Thought column.

Hydrogenated Oils-Silent Killersby columnist, David Lawrence Dewey© copyrighted 1996

David Lawrence Dewey was the first journalist to raise the warning flag to consumers concerning the deadly health effects of hydrogenated oils in 1996.

The article is the most comprehensive and extensive article on the net about hydrogenated oils. The article explains what they are, when they started being used, and the deadly effects they cause ranging from coronary heart disease, to diabetes type II, to cancer, autism, food allergies and autoimmune diseases.

Provided are numerous references and links to research studies from Harvard Medical Research, The Helsinky Institute and other reputable research centers around the world. The article has been read by over 30 million readers worldwide since 1996 and is continuously being updated. Make sure you read the updates at the end of the column.

Before reading this article, I was avoiding hydrogenated oils and trans fats because my old health-nut supervisor told me to. Then last week my inquisitive other half asked me why they were so bad and I was semi-embarassed to not even know why... but here is this article to answer the question some of you may have also been asking.

Why are hydrogenated oils so bad for you?

Full of Hope

As the title of this blog post suggests, I am full of hope and excitement. I know that this time around I will reach and maintain my goal. I'm so proud of myself. Several months ago I was caged in a horrible excuse for a relationship; engaged to a man that had absolutely no love or respect for me. Even if he lied at times to create the illusion of love, to be in that situation and be so blind, it's clear that I had very little love and respect for myself. When I found out about all of his lies, it tore me apart. I sought revenge, but it didn't ease my sorrows. I banished that abusive man from my life and put him in jail where he belonged. He was gone and I was better off, but behind my smile I was dying inside. The level of his deceit was just off the charts and everything he'd ever done and said to me came flooding into my mind over and over. Some day it will be in a book, but not one I can write now. At the time I also had a very psychologically stressful job in a long-term residential treatment home for children from various traumatic backgrounds. The days were so long I measured them by mealtimes and could never wait to eat. I wanted to get back home so I could go to bed and wallow in self-pity. I was already around 200 pounds. One week he'd say he liked arm candy and the next week he'd think my butt was getting too small, so my weight was yo-yoing and every time it went down, it went higher than it was before. Between the stress and deep depression I was sinking into, my emotional eating was spinning out of control and I was up to 215 pounds.

I never thought that I would be over 200... but it happened. I was disgusted with myself, but felt that I would never get down to where I should medically be. I had pretty much given up on myself. It didn't help that people would say that I was beautiful and that some people are just mean to be bigger. Eventually, though, I got sick of people telling me how well I wore my weight.

There are three different body types. I am a mesomorph. I have an hourglass figure and tend to gain and lose proportionately. You might have noticed from my last posting that I have lost just about the same amount (2") off of every part of my body except for my calves. My calves were already very lean. This does not change the fact that I am obese (but very close to entering the overweight BMI zone)! That's still a lot of weight that I was carrying around. Since starting this blog I have lost almost 50 pounds. I used to groan like an old lady when getting up. I still do, but now it's only out of habit, not out of strain. I had difficulty breathing sometimes, even if I was being sedentary. Every movement felt like work. I had no energy. I was only 22 and I FELT 32.

Having now lost 15% of my weight and sneaking up on 20%... I feel amazing. I am already reaping the benefits of my new healthy lifestyle and I can't wait to experience the others that await me. These are supposed to be the best years of my life. Albeit I wasted one of them on a loser, but now I have healed and am on my way to being a healthy, athletic 20-something.

By the way... my mom pointed out tonight that I am almost HALFWAY to my goal.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Oh F YEAH! In the 160's baby!

Hey guys. This is my obligatory Monday night weigh-in post. This week I lost 2 pounds for a total weight loss of 34.8 pounds. My current weight is 169.4. I made my goal of getting into the 160's and am .2 pounds away from a 5lb milestone and 6 pounds away from having lost 20% of my body weight since starting WW in January. Hopefully sometime next month I will be able to share that good news with you!

I am pretty sure it has been about 4 years since I was in the 160's. I think that's what I was when I went on the South Beach Diet Sophomore year. I had lost about 20 pounds on that diet and put it all back on plus some. THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Old Jeans

Today I was trying to tidy up because I read an article on the WW website about how keeping your environment organized helps keep you on track with healthy behaviours. Looking through my clothes, I realized that I am holding onto a lot of clothes that don't fit me; they are now TOO BIG. It was quite an emotional event throwing them away. I cried a little because for a few reasons I was so filled with happiness. I am never going to be those sizes again. I would have donated them, but most had stains, minor rips, and damage at the hem. The ones I disposed of were all of my old 13/14 and 15/16's. I saved a couple of small sections of the waistband with the size tag right in the middle. I don't know if I mentioned this before, but I am also scrapbooking this journey, so I wanted to put in the denim swatches as I change sizes.

Trying to Find Extra Motivation

There's no doubt that I am a motivated individual, but lately it just hasn't been as easy to get these extra pounds off and I have yet to really kick it up. The other day I blogged that I was going to do a last chance workout like on the Biggest Loser. To be completely honest it was really half-assed and I hardly broke a sweat.

I have felt myself slipping this week. I hadn't exercised. Yesterday I went over my points and didn't even count how many I went over them by. I helped myself to 2 (sherbet and Sprite smoothies) and no, it wasn't Sprite 0). I didn't measure at all. It was a simple sugar binge. Today was my day off and I found myself sitting on the couch, watching TV and eating mindlessly. Again, I had 2 servings of sorbet. The difference is that I measured and counted points, but looking at my food journal today, you can see at a glance that a majority of my calories came from carbs (most of them simple).

I was feeling guilty and very disappointed at my lack of self control. It was a beautiful day out and here I was being a couch potato. Fortunately, I was flipping through the channels and stumbled upon a re-run of the Biggest Loser. The episode was about the first day the trainers met the contestants. I watched a group of severely overweight individuals race one mile through the desert to be guaranteed a spot on one of the two teams. If they can do it, why was I not outside running?

That was enough to get me off of the couch and out I went. It was kind of embarassing to be out there in my exercise outfit, visible to anyone driving by. I hoped they were not picking on me. I actually tried to convince myself that they were proud of me for running. I mean, all those slender people you see jogging might not have always been slender. You have to start somewhere. I ended up jogging/walking for about 2 miles. I took a small break to do housework and then I ended up working out with my new Biggest Loser Bootcamp DVD. Wow. Today did not end up being a lazy day. I am exhausted!