As you all probably guessed. I fell off the wagon. I had lost about 7 lbs before Christmas, but then I moved. Who did I move in with? My mother. And what does she like to do? Cook, bake, and feed people. Needless to say I gained back all of the weight I had worked so hard to lose, plus three pounds, for a total weight gain in TWO weeks of 10 pounds!
I write this all as matter of fact, but in truth I am very ashamed to be admitting my failure. At the same time I am happy to share with you all that I have found a new program and support net for this goal. Monday, January 5th, I found myself at my first Weight Watchers meeting. I was 204.2 pounds. I knew that my boss worked for Weight Watchers and was a lifetime member. I also knew that she lost 60 pounds on the program and has kept it off for almost 10 years so far. I have bumped into many people who have similar stories about Weight Watchers, but I never joined. Something about the idea of having meetings just seemed to cult-ish to me. I just didn't get it.
I have been to two meetings so far and I am loving it. I go in there and I am surrounded by all these people who are friendly and there to support each-other. The weigh-in process is discreet, but at the same time holds you accountable for your eating and exercise behaviours. ACCOUNTABILITY is key. I just can't get the same thing from my blog alone.
Last week I walked into my second meeting. As usual, it was held in this quaint little church. One of the leaders recognizes me as a newer member and asks me how I think I did this week. I smile kind of shyly and tell her I think I did pretty well. I do know I did well. The last time I checked on my scale I had lost 4 pounds already that week, but I am nervous that maybe my scale is not the same as theirs. I stand in line joking with the lady behind me that maybe I should take off my belt to take off half a pound. She laughs and tells me sometimes around holidays people take off their earrings and any other jewelry and wear light clothes such as wind pants. Before I know it, it's my turn to step up. I get to be weighed in with my boss. It's taking forever and I can't wait to hear the number. She looks at the number and says "Oh my", and at first I think it's bad news, but I know it can't be? "You lost 7.2 pounds. Wow".
Yup and then I totally high-fived her.
I was told not to expect such drastic results for next week. Part of the weight-loss came from starting my job that week. My body thought that work was exercise. Being on my feet all day long sure does feel like exercise. When I get home my body is sore from my big toe all the way up to the middle of my back. I was told not to add in an exercise routine until my body gets used to working on my feet. That's fine with me. It's hard to exercise when you are already in pain when you begin.
Being in this program reminds me a lot of being in AA or the eating disorder group I was in. The first step is admitting you have a problem...LOL. I was sitting in meeting on Monday and realized that I need to stop blaming my current weight gain on having been anorexic and bulimic in the past. True, that most likely affected my metabolism, but so has my yo-yo dieting and sporadic eating habits. I hardly eat one day, and then the next day I'll be stuffing my face. One week I am dieting, the next I am stuffing my face. I have poor impulse control when it comes to food. On Family Guy there's this clip where Brian gives Meg some dieting tips:
It sounds like harsh advice, but in the end it's true for a lot of people. Including myself.